The Question to Ask is “What?” rather than “How?”
On May 18th, 2011, by · CommentsAre you crystal clear on what will bring vitality to your life and keep your business sustainable? Consider this question and then explore “Where do I spend my time?” Take a moment to write your answers.
As you look your responses, step back and make observations without judgment. Are you focused on a list of action steps that support you in “how” to take action? Are your answers and actions supporting you in creating “what” you want? In other words, are you focusing on “what” really matters and are your actions getting you where you want to go?
I met with local business leaders this week to share ideas around the “hot” topic of The Fortune is in the Follow-up. These are energetic and committed people passionate about serving their clients; it was so much fun to be in their presence! At the start of the meeting I asked what outcome they desired from my talk. Ultimately, the question being asked of this group which, I assert is a recurring one for all business owners, is “how?” Questions like:
- How do I balance my time between doing the work and following-up?
- How do I making meaningful connections that produce results?
- How do I keep in touch with the people I meet?
These are important and relevant questions; I imagine you can relate to these. However, I assert that “we” as business owners are focusing our attention on the wrong question. “How” sets you up to look for answers outside of you which can take you away from what you want and what matters to you.
The questions I want to us to be asking are based on “what”. For example:
- What is important to me?
- What information is available that will support me in having the impact I desire?
- What impact do I want to make at home, with clients and in the marketplace?
- What’s the best way for me to forward?
- What investment in relationships, coaching and/or training are necessary for me?
Shifting your attention to the “what” questions draws you inward to find your internal compass that is true and right for you. Here you tap into your core wisdom that provides clarity around your answers for “how?” Specifically, your “what” answers become the filter to run everything through as you decide “how” to move forward in meaningful and purposeful action.
What do you think? Do you agree? Disagree? I’d love to hear your comments about this so be sure to post them at the blog.
I also have an invitation for you if you want an opportunity to connect to your core to access more of your “what”. Join me for a FREE and complimentary Discover your Compass Group Coaching Session on the theme “The Power of Choice”. As I prepare to become a Compass Certified Coach I’m offering two options, one on this Thursday, 5/19 at 10:30a Pacific and another on Monday, 5/23 at 1:45p Pacific.
Perhaps now is the perfect time for you to refresh and renew from the inside-out. Find out the “what” that will lead you to the “how” that’s true for you.
Celebrate Inspiring Women
On May 4th, 2011, by · Comments
In honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend let’s celebrate inspiring women. Who do you want to thank? I’m sure there are many women who have impacted your life for the good so grab a pen and piece of paper and get ready to make your list of incredible women to acknowledge!
As for me, I have had many inspiring women support, encourage and challenge me as a single Mompreneur for over 9+ years, which has been vital to my personal and professional success. I’ve been richly blessed by their willingness to invest in me by providing inspiration, wisdom and insight as I’ve evolved, changed and become more of my truest self.
In particular, I have worked with three phenomenal women as my life and business coaches and I want to honor them today. Cynthia Loy Darst, Teresia LaRocque and Kim Fulcher all have four important characteristics that have contributed to my success—they walk their talk, act as catalysts for change, live alive and on purpose and call forth greatness in others. These are the criteria I look for in those I choose to work with and I am grateful to each of you amazing women for sharing your brilliance and inspiring me to be all I can be as a Mompreneur.
What about you? What women have acted as coaches in your life? What criteria do you look for? And more importantly how will you thank them?
Someone else I want to celebrate is Laurie Hardie, Radio Host of Coffee with the Coaches who is also my friend, colleague and Compass sister. I met Laurie over a year ago and as a fellow single Mom, I am inspired by her life and story that will be published in her upcoming guide for single Mom’s called Did Not See that Coming.
This resource will offer hope and inspiration to single Mom’s and I had the joy of supporting her community with a recent interview. Be sure to listen to the many stories of thriving in spite of life’s challenges as you learn more about Laurie’s book which will help all women committed to overcoming challenges.
I want to honor my own Mom who has been a steadfast anchor of peace and strength in my life. She is a woman devoted to bringing her full self to our family, with a servant’s heart and wisdom that has guided me with grace and love. Thank you Mom for the woman you are and the legacy you are creating.
Today, I also celebrate you! Thank you for using your leadership influence for the good and for impacting others with your unique greatness. Take a moment to receive these truths as you acknowledge your role in changing the world, one woman at a time.
Are you Alert to Life?
On April 27th, 2011, by · Comments
Do you notice what’s going on in and around you? Are you alert to life?
Years ago I went to training to learn how to prepare relevant talks for my audiences. Florence Littauer, published author and founder of CLASServices shared this concept with our group. It has served me well over the years, not just in creating training material, but also in other facets of my work and life.
Let me share an example that might be helpful, especially for those of you working as Mompreneurs. One area of my personal and professional life that I am exploring and nurturing is my creativity. I haven’t exercised this muscle in years so it’s time for some training!
As I’ve become “alert to life” in this area, I have become aware and paying attention to how my daughter expresses herself creatively. She’s started to design clothes and draws pictures of dresses she wants to make. She’s already a huge fan of coloring and drawing but her creativity doesn’t stop there. She’s brilliant when it comes to building things with Lego’s, Tinker Toys and more. She’s definitely got me beat when it comes to science, math and spatial ability! 
Being aware of this has been helpful on many levels. It’s teaching me about creativity, it’s revealing more about my daughter’s strengths and it has provided a connection point for our relationship as we “create” together. It’s also allowing me to integrate my life and business as I explore creativity for my work in The Leadership Collaborative. Bottom line is that I feel alive, on purpose and whole!
So how about you? When you become alert to life what do you notice? What’s hear for you to teach, speak or write about?
The larger story is that being “alert to life” awakens you. You become “present” in the moment which brings value personally and professionally.
Will you try this today? Become alert to life and share your comments at the blog. There’s a gift awaiting when you do.
“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why we call it ‘The Present’.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
Chat with Women
On April 14th, 2011, by · Comments
I’ve heard it said that women use over 10,000 words per day so it’s very clear that we women “chat”! In fact, I’ve started my quota early today as I literally just got off the phone for my weekly chat with a dear friend and colleague of mine; we meet over-the-phone weekly at 5:30a to connect on a deeper level and support one another with accountability and encouragement.
One of the reasons we “chat with women” is that we are very relational beings. The way we connect is through conversation. Some times our dialogue is uplifting and life giving but if you’re like me, I often wish I could take back what I’ve said because it hasn’t been helpful, edifying or inspiring.
How about you? If you think about your “chats” how would you rate your conversations? Enriching? Draining?
In my experience with clients, the primary reason for disheartening conversation is women often operate and talk from an empty tank. When the car runs on fumes, eventually it’s going to stop and be ineffective. It’s the same for you; the level of “gas” in your internal tank directly impacts the quality of your presence and how you show up in the world, including what you share in your conversations.
Tomorrow I have the exciting opportunity to be interviewed on the radio with co-hosts Pam Gray and Rachel Alhadeff of Chat with Women. This is my “first time” on the radio “live”; what a great chance to use part of my word quota in a positive way. I invite you to join me as your support will inspire me and this could also be your chance to “refuel” your tanks. I believe the show will positively impact you by improving your energy and uplifting your tone of voice and the words you use in your conversations.
“Chat With Women is a company that is passionate about helping, developing, and inspiring women and the men who love them. We achieve this by waking up every day with a goal of using our experiences in business and life while following our core values of love, laughter and our life’s energy to maximize everyday both personally and professionally.”
So tune in tomorrow; if you’re in the Puget Sound region you can listen at KKNW 1150AM or online at Chat with Women. The show starts at 8:00a Pacific and my segment will be at 8:45a. You can also listen to the archived show after the fact.
And as you “chat with women” (and others today) remember your words can help or your words can hinder. Choose wisely!
Picture courtesy of Photoxpress ©Bruce Shippee
Reframing Gives New Perspective
On April 6th, 2011, by · Comments
I was unplugged for the week of Spring Break and had visions of relaxing and taking it easy. A girl can dream right? I really thought that stepping away from technology would take me to the “lazy and slow moving” part of the river of life. Maybe for others but not for me, at least not during this break!
I actually ended up on the “fast and furious” side of the metaphorical river of life as I sat in the Urgent Care office with my daughter. We eventually received news that she broke her wrist playing basketball so needless to say the coaching skill of “reframing” has helped me navigate the unexpected in a healthy and life giving way.
It’s amazing how powerful reframing can be when something unforeseen happens. In our need for structure in an ever changing world, it’s a “practical” and “tactical” tool that can help you keep a healthy perspective as you navigate the often unplanned happenings and organic nature of life. According to the Coaches Training Institute the term reframing involves “providing a client with another perspective so the information or situation can be interpreted in a different way.”
So that’s exactly what I decided to do! Instead of seeing this situation as an interruption to my relaxing break, I have chosen to embrace the new morning routine that has come out of the situation since my daughter needs extra help. It’s actually ironic that our old morning ritual was creating chaos in our lives, so her broken wrist has actually provided us with an opportunity to do things differently.
For encouragement, a colleague of mine sent me a copy of the picture included with this post. Now isn’t that an uplifting “reframe” to an unexpected event? When I choose to hold onto the “something wonderful is about to happy” perspective I actually get excited to think about the good that will come out of this situation.
How about you? Are you currently in the midst of a situation that requires a reframe? If so, what’s the new perspective you’ll take?
When you think about your challenges through the lens of “something wonderful is about to happy” what shifts for you?
I’m not here to dismiss the reality of the pain and suffering that comes through unanticipated change. Change creates loss and grief becomes a part of the process. It’s essential to give yourself permission to feel the full range of your human experience as you go through it. At the same time, it’s important that you don’t allow yourself to get “stuck” and lose site that you can find good in the midst of your trials.
Where has reframing helped you in your life? Share your thoughts at the blog and remember that whatever you are going through that’s hard, this too shall pass.
