Archive for Relationships
The Spiral Staircase to your Authentic Success
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I am currently in a pretty awesome (and scary!) transition place in my life and work. I’ve been here before so I’m keenly aware of a “pattern” that surfaces when I’m called forth to a new level. I notice that I become very “controlling” toward my outer world in an attempt to bring peace to the chaos I feel inside. Can you relate?
I’ve also recognized that the one person in my life who takes the brunt of my “controlling” nature is my daughter as you’ll see by my post below. When I realized this (again), I decided to share the article I wrote 3 years ago on the topic to let you know that “moving forward” toward your inspired life also results in some “moving back” in order to overcome the obstacles that are in your way. It may seem like you’re “stopped” but as the spiral staircase shows, this is actually a coming back around the loop at a slightly higher place all for the purpose of moving upward to your authentic success.
I also want to make the point that when you are going through this “letting go of the old” to “make room for the new” you must practice extreme self-care. For me in this moment, it means sharing something I’ve already written so I don’t have to muster the attention and strength to be creative with a new blog post this week. (by the way, I’m redirecting you to the original article to keep this post length manageable).
As you read the article below, I invite you to ponder the following questions:
- In what area are you being called forth to a new way of life that is more genuine and authentic?
- What support do you need to overcome the patterns, beliefs and behaviors that are holding you back in your life and your business?
- What’s your next step?
I welcome your comments and insight. Feel free to share by posting them at the blog at www.shannonbruce.com. If you like the article and want to receive more tips, wisdom and insight from our team, we invite you to join our community and sign-up for the Inner Wisdom Unleashed Monthly Newsletter.
The Heart of a Mother – The Power of “Yes”
Have you ever noticed that one of the first words out of a toddler’s mouth is “no”?
Hmmm. I wonder why that is?
I have been reflecting on my role as a mother and I realize that I frequently use the word “no” with my nearly 7-year old daughter, Taylor. With our recent struggles, I am aware that my overuse of this word has been a hindrance in our ability to reconnect. It’s draining me and separating us further. This is not who I want to be as her mother, nor is it the relationship I want to have with her.
I recently decided to try a different approach. I started to say “yes” more often.
I am in awe of what I have noticed…Read on here.
Photo from Photoxpress © Lars Christensen
Calgon Take Me Away–Permission to Pause
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Remember that commercial years ago where a woman is overwhelmed and frustrated by the many demands for her attention? She finally took a stand and declared “Calgon, take me away!” This woman was really onto something that I think bears repeating. Her declaration points to the truth that we all need to step away from the chaos and demands of life to slow down, pause, breathe, check in and reassess.
So what about you? Could you use a “Calgon” break? Permission granted…Go for it! Maybe it’s not a bubble bath, but it could certainly be a ten-minute break to breathe or go for a quick walk. Or how about sitting down to eat your lunch at the table rather than “on the go” or standing up?! 
At some point, you will get caught up in the “doing” and “serving” others through your business and your life that you barely have time to think, let alone feel. Some of you might press in and push through, while others shut down and just stop all together. In either scenario, you’ll reach the point where you are ineffective and unproductive forcing you to reevaluate.
So what’s the answer?
The answer is this: give yourself permission to pause. Take a quick assessment right now and contemplate the following questions.
- What are you currently experiencing internally? Are you at rest inside? Or are you feeling chaos within? Name what you notice.
Once you tune in to what’s happening in your internal world, take a look at what’s going on externally by answering these questions.
- What’s working?
- What’s not?
- What really matters?
- What changes are needed?
Your answers to these questions will reveal some powerful truths. However, you’re just scratching the surface at this point.
There are actually deeper truths that need to be accessed. This internal wisdom will actually help you on the front-end to be proactive in your life and business rather than reacting to the shut-down or burn-out that comes after you hit the proverbial wall.
When you give yourself permission to glean this inner wisdom, you’ll discover your true identity and life mission which reveals your purpose. With this information, you have filters for your choices and you can design a path to the life you’re intended to live. This keeps you anchored in peace while achieving greater impact and tangible results with less effort in both your life and your business.
There’s actually a coaching journey that can help you tap into these deeper truths. It’s called The Destiny Project and this week it went virtual under one website location with it’s own unique brand, identity, mission and purpose. What’s really cool about this journey is that it provides enough structure to keep you moving forward, blended with enough process that takes you deeper into the learning of who you truly are at the core.
Many say they don’t have enough time to dream because there’s too much to do. How about you? What do you think?
What if the question isn’t how can you afford to dream, but rather the question was how can you afford not to? I invite you to contemplate this in your “Calgon” moment as you exercise your permission to pause.
Post your comments at www.shannonbruce.com; I’d love to read your thoughts and be sure to check out the new website because it’s pretty amazing! Thanks Michael Warden and Josh Tilton.
Photo Provided by www.photoxpress.com, Copyright Julia Britvich
In the Absence of Complete Clarity
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Do you find yourself in the absence of “complete” clarity. I’m right there with you because in this season of my life, there’s a lot in flux in both my personal life and business. I have a sense of where these shifts will take me and I’m moving forward in action in new and positive ways.
At the same time, I find myself challenged by the lack of “crystal clear clarity” that “us coaches” support our clients to discover. Perhaps you’re like me, finding your schedule jam packed, having little margin, and new opportunities coming to you at warp speed.
Here are some of the realizations I’ve had over the past few weeks:
Strengths taken to an extreme become a weakness. My can-do attitude has resulted in me saying “yes” too often. Don’t get me wrong; I am saying “yes” to good things that honor my values, strengths and vision. The end result however, is that my quiet time has been impacted and the quality of my personal relationships is being affected. What about you? What strengths have become weaknesses in your life?
The “good” can crowd out those things that are “best”. When you receive an opportunity that appears aligned with your strengths, talents, values, vision, etc. pause before saying yes. Evaluate whether the opportunity is “good”, “better” or “best”, and choose accordingly.
Replenish on a grand scale so you can continue to give to others in a big way. You must renew and replenish to the same degree you are giving to have increase your impact, influence and results. To be in service from a “full” tank you need to take care of yourself. This isn’t selfish; it’s a fact of life!
So now what?
Reduce your screen time—my daughter’s pediatrician told me that she should have no more than 2 hours of TV, Computer, and Electronic Games a day. Hmmm, I wonder what that means for us adults. For me, this means that I must turn off the computer when I leave my office daily.
Aim for an earlier bedtime—what bed time allows you to wake up being your best self? I have found a time that allows me to wake up refreshed and every time I “push it”, my morning is challenged.
Radically reduce your multi-tasking—you can’t send an e-mail, put a load of laundry in the machine, talk on the phone and be present all at the same time. Keep the main priority your focus and be real about how many activities you can handle at any given time.
Here’s the truth in all of this. You need to shield yourself from the busyness to hear what your body, soul and spirit are saying. External noise and excessive activity interferes with your ability to hear the still small whispers within that will give you the “complete” clarity you need.
What do you think? I welcome your feedback and comments.
The Power of Listening
Posted by: | CommentsShortly after the launch of the blog, I could tell that I was getting sick and the cold was heading for my chest. It was rather surreal the way it all happened because it came on instantaneously. In retrospect, I realized that I had been “pushing through” to get everything wrapped up so I could be done and move on to the preparation of my much welcomed and anticipated girl’s weekend get away.
By the time I made it to the mini-vacation, my voice was essentially “Gone” with a Capital “G”. Not a good thing for an extrovert ready to meet new women at this birthday party adventure for my friend Julie. Once again I stepped into my regular pattern and I attempted to “push through” by forcing words out. It was rather painful, not just for me on a physical level, but also for those who were trying to listen to my squeaky voice!
As I realized that I wouldn’t be able to engage as normal, I made the choice to embrace my reality and do what I was obviously meant to do…Listen!
In spite of minimal talking, it was an amazing weekend! I watched the joy around me as women from all walks of life, and all parts of the country came together to celebrate Julie and the amazing gift she is. The stories and conversations ranged from hilarious, to provocative to powerful. The laughter was contagious and the tears shed along the way reflected the beauty that resides in the hearts of these incredible women.
I learned something this weekend. Because I was forced to listen more and talk less, there was a fullness to the relationships built over the weekend. Normally I am a giver, but this time I was able to receive in a way that I usually don’t because I listened in more powerful ways. It made the weekend more rich, beautiful and whole. Not only was Julie’s lifelong dream fulfilled as she connected with her network of amazing women friends all in one place, but I received the gift of receiving the deeper learning attributed to this powerful listening.
Listening is a tool that all coaches use. We learn early in our training that there are actually three levels of listening that are essential to the coaching relationship.
Level 1 listening is self-focused listening. In the context of the coaching relationship, this means that I hold back my agenda and opinions to be fully with my client. I do pay attention to what I have to offer the client from my experience and bring it into the coaching when appropriate.
Level 2 listening is laser focused listening. With my clients, this means I completely focus 100% of my attention toward them, creating the space for them to be seen and heard in service to their agenda.
Level 3 listening is the softened listening where I allow my intuition to kick in. I notice the shift in my client’s voice and pay attention to what’s not being spoken.
Pondering these levels of listening, I realized that I was engaged with all three this weekend. I was able to honor the level 1 listening by staying in tune with my body as I took care of my physical needs. When up to it, I was able to exercise the level 2 by staying focused in the one-on-one conversations I had with the different women at the party. And, it was the Level 3 that allowed me to witness the many heart qualities that were present in the weekend as we ate, drank, laughed, talked, learned and engaged in relationship as women.
The pinnacle of this moment happened when Julie and Sharon, her BFF for life, joined together to sing. They both have amazing voices and used to sing together with the Sweet Adeline’s. Singing acappella, you could feel the love shared between these two and hear the synergy and harmony of their voices. Their singing truly captured the moment where these three levels of listening came together in a divine way.
So now I’m curious about you. When have you experienced that “harmony” in your listening as you engage in relationship with others? What will you take from this post to use as you leverage the power of listening in your relationships? What listening muscle do you need to exercise to find that rich place of connection?
I’d love to hear from you! And thanks Ladies for an incredibly life giving weekend on so many levels!
