Archive for Listening
Practicing the Art of “Being”
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I’ve spent the majority of my life “doing” rather than “being”. After all, there are places to go, people to see, and things to do, right?
This approach to life fell short for me over ten years ago when I made the bold and courageous decision to leave behind the security of my steady paycheck. I quit my “Corporate” job to pursue my entrepreneurial dream because I was exhausted and burnt out from all of my “doing” for the sake of what?!
Little did I know that I would find myself going through life transition upon life transition, starting with my divorce and the subsequent hurdles of my daughter’s health struggles.
Because of these changes, I was challenged to find answers to the questions of “Who am I?” and “What’s next?”
I could write a book on the topic and some day I just might! In the meantime, the key learning is that I am a “human being”, not a “human doing”. Out of this paradigm shift, I have reaped the benefits of living a heart centered life and I am committed to supporting women like you to do the same.
For those of you who are “do-ers” (which is 99.9% of the women out there), here are some practical next steps that will help you “to be”.
- Slow down and breathe fully. Repeat multiple times during the day!
- Go for a walk in silence. A little bit of exercise, a chance to be and not just “sitting still”.
- Get up early in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Drink your coffee in silence and breathe some more.
- Stop talking and listen. Pay attention to others and to your inner voices, your body, etc.
- Read my blog article “On the Verge of a Break Through” for more insight.
Learning to “be” is essential if you want to find inner peace, joy and greater purpose. It’s a huge shift from the crazy-making world we live, yet so worth the perseverance and commitment to find it.
So what else would you add to this list? Share your comments at Facebook and the Blog…And then, breathe and “just be”!
Be Present & Enjoy
Posted by: | CommentsAs summer winds down, are you feeling overwhelmed or fragmented because of too many things on your plate?
The next two weeks are often the most difficult for Mompreneurs. Through the transition, there is an overlap of activities for the end of summer and the beginning of fall, all happening at the same time! You’re probably finishing vacations, wrapping up those summer barbeques and trying to shop for supplies as you get your kids back on track for the school year. With this extra flurry of activity, you feel the intensity of juggling added responsibilities it’s hard to be present and enjoy your life.
Instead of being frustrated, exhausted and perhaps “done” with summer, I want you to to experience the priceless opportunity of connection, fun and lasting memories.
So how do you navigate this transition time? What will bring ease and grace so you aren’t robbed of the joy that’s available?
Today Hannah Hollett, my guest author and client has provided some powerful tips on being present so you can fully enjoy.
Reconnect with your body and listen to what it is saying! Learn what it feels like (physically) when you are honoring your values and being present. Do you feel light, flowing and full? Notice what happens when you are not being present. Do you feel tightness in your chest, shallow breathing, and tension when you are ignoring what is important to you? Listen to your body as it will never lie to you. Use your body as a guidance system and make the choices and changes needed to “be present”.
Carry a small object that you can literally wrap your fingers around as a reminder to be in this moment. As an example, keep a smooth stone in your pocket to act as an anchor reminding you to be present!
Trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be right now. Even when things are challenging there is always a gift to experience. Being present will keep you conscious and aware allowing everything to be your teacher.
What will you do right now to “be present” and “enjoy?” Share your thoughts in the comments below.
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The Power of Listening
Posted by: | CommentsShortly after the launch of the blog, I could tell that I was getting sick and the cold was heading for my chest. It was rather surreal the way it all happened because it came on instantaneously. In retrospect, I realized that I had been “pushing through” to get everything wrapped up so I could be done and move on to the preparation of my much welcomed and anticipated girl’s weekend get away.
By the time I made it to the mini-vacation, my voice was essentially “Gone” with a Capital “G”. Not a good thing for an extrovert ready to meet new women at this birthday party adventure for my friend Julie. Once again I stepped into my regular pattern and I attempted to “push through” by forcing words out. It was rather painful, not just for me on a physical level, but also for those who were trying to listen to my squeaky voice!
As I realized that I wouldn’t be able to engage as normal, I made the choice to embrace my reality and do what I was obviously meant to do…Listen!
In spite of minimal talking, it was an amazing weekend! I watched the joy around me as women from all walks of life, and all parts of the country came together to celebrate Julie and the amazing gift she is. The stories and conversations ranged from hilarious, to provocative to powerful. The laughter was contagious and the tears shed along the way reflected the beauty that resides in the hearts of these incredible women.
I learned something this weekend. Because I was forced to listen more and talk less, there was a fullness to the relationships built over the weekend. Normally I am a giver, but this time I was able to receive in a way that I usually don’t because I listened in more powerful ways. It made the weekend more rich, beautiful and whole. Not only was Julie’s lifelong dream fulfilled as she connected with her network of amazing women friends all in one place, but I received the gift of receiving the deeper learning attributed to this powerful listening.
Listening is a tool that all coaches use. We learn early in our training that there are actually three levels of listening that are essential to the coaching relationship.
Level 1 listening is self-focused listening. In the context of the coaching relationship, this means that I hold back my agenda and opinions to be fully with my client. I do pay attention to what I have to offer the client from my experience and bring it into the coaching when appropriate.
Level 2 listening is laser focused listening. With my clients, this means I completely focus 100% of my attention toward them, creating the space for them to be seen and heard in service to their agenda.
Level 3 listening is the softened listening where I allow my intuition to kick in. I notice the shift in my client’s voice and pay attention to what’s not being spoken.
Pondering these levels of listening, I realized that I was engaged with all three this weekend. I was able to honor the level 1 listening by staying in tune with my body as I took care of my physical needs. When up to it, I was able to exercise the level 2 by staying focused in the one-on-one conversations I had with the different women at the party. And, it was the Level 3 that allowed me to witness the many heart qualities that were present in the weekend as we ate, drank, laughed, talked, learned and engaged in relationship as women.
The pinnacle of this moment happened when Julie and Sharon, her BFF for life, joined together to sing. They both have amazing voices and used to sing together with the Sweet Adeline’s. Singing acappella, you could feel the love shared between these two and hear the synergy and harmony of their voices. Their singing truly captured the moment where these three levels of listening came together in a divine way.
So now I’m curious about you. When have you experienced that “harmony” in your listening as you engage in relationship with others? What will you take from this post to use as you leverage the power of listening in your relationships? What listening muscle do you need to exercise to find that rich place of connection?
I’d love to hear from you! And thanks Ladies for an incredibly life giving weekend on so many levels!
