Archive for Life Transition
In the Absence of Complete Clarity
Posted by: | Comments
Do you find yourself in the absence of “complete” clarity. I’m right there with you because in this season of my life, there’s a lot in flux in both my personal life and business. I have a sense of where these shifts will take me and I’m moving forward in action in new and positive ways.
At the same time, I find myself challenged by the lack of “crystal clear clarity” that “us coaches” support our clients to discover. Perhaps you’re like me, finding your schedule jam packed, having little margin, and new opportunities coming to you at warp speed.
Here are some of the realizations I’ve had over the past few weeks:
Strengths taken to an extreme become a weakness. My can-do attitude has resulted in me saying “yes” too often. Don’t get me wrong; I am saying “yes” to good things that honor my values, strengths and vision. The end result however, is that my quiet time has been impacted and the quality of my personal relationships is being affected. What about you? What strengths have become weaknesses in your life?
The “good” can crowd out those things that are “best”. When you receive an opportunity that appears aligned with your strengths, talents, values, vision, etc. pause before saying yes. Evaluate whether the opportunity is “good”, “better” or “best”, and choose accordingly.
Replenish on a grand scale so you can continue to give to others in a big way. You must renew and replenish to the same degree you are giving to have increase your impact, influence and results. To be in service from a “full” tank you need to take care of yourself. This isn’t selfish; it’s a fact of life!
So now what?
Reduce your screen time—my daughter’s pediatrician told me that she should have no more than 2 hours of TV, Computer, and Electronic Games a day. Hmmm, I wonder what that means for us adults. For me, this means that I must turn off the computer when I leave my office daily.
Aim for an earlier bedtime—what bed time allows you to wake up being your best self? I have found a time that allows me to wake up refreshed and every time I “push it”, my morning is challenged.
Radically reduce your multi-tasking—you can’t send an e-mail, put a load of laundry in the machine, talk on the phone and be present all at the same time. Keep the main priority your focus and be real about how many activities you can handle at any given time.
Here’s the truth in all of this. You need to shield yourself from the busyness to hear what your body, soul and spirit are saying. External noise and excessive activity interferes with your ability to hear the still small whispers within that will give you the “complete” clarity you need.
What do you think? I welcome your feedback and comments.
How to Gracefully Navigate the Transition to the New Year
Posted by: | Comments
What are you experiencing right now as you navigate the transition from 2009 into the New Year? Are you excited and ready to embrace all that’s in store for 2010? Or are you struggling in the overwhelm and resisting the transition altogether?
December includes both the winding down of 2009 and the preparation of a new year, making this month a transition time, which can be unsettling for many. So with only three weeks left in the year, there are two BIG questions I have been pondering.
First, what does it look like to wind down the year with grace so you can choose the fresh path for 2010?
Second, how do you navigate the transition from one year to the next with ease when it’s the busiest time of year?
Here are two insights I’ve gleaned personally from first-hand experience and through partnering with my clients:
- Make time to reflect and celebrate on this past year to gain the wisdom and insight for that will prepare you for 2010. Click Here if you’d like a tool to support you with this.
- Extreme self-care (also known as radical self-care to one of my Facebook friends and former clients) is essential and a non-negotiable.
I wonder how you might answer this question, “What does it mean to you to practice extreme self-care as you go through this transition month?”
Here are some ideas shared by my Facebook friends:
- “This week, it means saying no to social invitations when I know it would drain me more than fill me to go.”
- “I’m going to the “Y” to exercise right now.”
- “I said “no” to doing Christmas cards this year! I’ve realized that it is a CHORE, not a JOY for me. Instead, I am calling people and chatting with them which takes more time but is MUCH more enjoyable for me.”
- “I make sure I am ready for the day before I sit down at my computer in the morning. That means I choose to work out, take a shower, get dressed, and do my hair and makeup BEFORE I start work, so I’m not still in my workout clothes and baseball cap at 1:00 in the afternoon working. I feel so much better!”
- “I choose NOT to get caught up in the to-do lists, but instead enjoy the moments.”
Notice the recurring themes of wisdom….
Strength comes from making a choice.
Deciding to let go of the “have-to’s”, “ought to-do’s” and “should’s” is freeing.
Committing to self-care fills you up so you have more to give.
So what will you commit to so you can gracefully navigate the transition to the New Year? I would love to know what you’re thinking so post your comments here and at the blog.
Now is your time to decide!
On the Verge of a Breakthrough – 3 Tips to Jumping into your Bigger Game
Posted by: | Comments
Do you sense you’re on the verge of a breakthrough, as if something new is about to emerge? Are you overwhelmed by the internal chaos, unable to stay focused? Perhaps external factors, like the demands of your family, expectations of others and financial obstacles are clouding your vision, keeping you from finding your true path?
You might be shocked by what I’m about to say because it’s counter to what you are probably feeling inside and seeing around you. The truth is that the internal chaos and clouding of your vision are good signs that you are evolving to a new level, where more of your authentic life and bigger game live.
Can this be? Really? I know it’s hard to believe especially when you are far from the internal peace you long for and your current impact is less than what you imagined you’d offer to others. To put this in perspective, think about the natural evolution of the caterpillar who goes through a painful struggle and fight to become the beautiful butterfly it’s meant to be.
This powerful reminder of nature’s breakthrough process is true for you as a human, as long as you make the decision to say “yes”. The only 
difference between you and the butterfly is the power to choose. The caterpillar automatically goes through the process without question, while you on the other hand have the right to decide.
This point of choice is a crossroads of sorts. You can choose to go back to the comfort zone where you know what to expect out of life even though it may not serve your bigger game, or you can say “yes” to the life you desire and are destined to live.
When you say “yes”, here are three tips that will help you jump into your bigger game:
- Be prepared for the discomfort. As you let go of the behaviors, activities and thoughts that keep you stuck, you will feel unsettled, and perhaps angry or disappointed. This is a normal part of the process of letting go so you can get beyond your comfort zone into what’s coming. Fear is also a part of the experience so expect it. And to move through it, remind yourself that courage means “acting in spite of the fear.”
- Find a mentor. This is a wild adventure that you don’t want to go on alone. Find others who are committed to living authentically and get support from them. This is the time to find your inner circle and connect with them as they remind you of who you are and what’s possible as you stand firm on the path forward.
- Focus on the “what” rather than the “how”. Begin to dream about what you desire on the other side of the breakthrough. How will your life be different? What will you be experiencing internally? What is happening externally? Keep your thoughts here because as soon as you attempt to figure out “how” to make it happen it will shut down your ability to vision and dream. Connecting with your heart’s desires about what’s on the other side will give you the courage to stay the course and help you persevere.
This is not an easy process and it’s worth the investment. What awaits you on the other side is the freedom, joy and life that comes as you flit and float about as the beautiful butterfly you are meant to be.
Will you say “yes” to becoming a butterfly? Remember Helen Keller’s words, “Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”
Feel free to share how you navigate life when you’re going through this transition phase. Share your comments below or at the blog.
Remembering 9-11
Posted by: | Comments
On that day 8-years ago, I was home with my 11-month old daughter, watching TV in shock when I learned of the first tower being hit by a plane. As I reflect upon the tragedy, it still seems surreal to me to think that this really and truly happened. It was a transforming moment in our world, nation, and in the lives of so many.
I think about this time in history every year because it marks the anniversary of an unplanned and unexpected chapter in my life when I became a divorced woman and single mom. Every year, I am reminded of that humbling moment when life as I had known it was no longer.
It was this season that the phrase by John Bradford, “There but for the grace of God go I” brought new meaning to my journey. Because of the grace I’ve experienced, I am the woman that I am today because my faith has seen me through the dark and painful times into to the light of healing, restoration and redemption.
So on this day, I can’t help but remember the tragedy of 9-11 because it’s so closely connected to my own personal defining moment. Even though there is grief, pain and loss, I am reminded that out of the ashes of the burnt towers, stories of hope, love and healing have emerged, bringing purpose to life’s unexpected tragedies.
What I’ve learned as a result of this experience years ago, and so many other trying times in my life, is that you have to make every moment count, and this means taking a no-excuses approach to creating a life you love, a life that inspires you and to fully express the gift within you. I believe that true FREEDOM comes from being fully self-expressed, and as an Mompreneur, you and I have the privilege to express ourselves FULLY through our businesses which allows us to create the thriving lives we desire.
I invite you to join me today in remembering the events of 9-11. Let’s join together as a community to cherish the gift of life and the gratitude we have for the work we are able to do as we share our gifts in service to others.
I’ll go first…I’m grateful for the love and support of family, the rich connections and relationships I have, and the privilege and honor to be involved in such meaningful and life transforming work.
How about you? I invite you to post your comments of gratitude around your life and work below.
Life Changes and Now What?
Posted by: | Comments
You’re cruising along and within an instant your life changes. Who you were yesterday is no longer who you are today because of a life transforming moment. Perhaps it’s an accident, a loss, a health issue or something else that has redefined your life. Whatever the situation, you are faced with the very large question of “Now what?”
What do you do as you find yourself overwhelmed by a broad spectrum of emotion ranging anywhere from relief, anger, grief, sadness, fear, overwhelm, and more? How do you move forward to earn a living, take care of your family, and get on with life, in spite of the transition you’ve just been through?
It’s no coincidence that I am writing about this topic after a week filled with transforming moments. Arnold’s Furniture, a well loved and respected local business in town for the past 58 years lost their entire building to a major fire on Monday. A colleague and client was involved in a tragic motorcycle accident that has left her in ICU fighting for her life and her health. A young man from the youth group at my church died unexpectedly at 19 years of age. And just last night, the Dr. Phil show “I Survived” was all about “life changes that happen within the blink of an eye”.
As Dr. Phil’s website says so profoundly, “It doesn’t matter how much money or success you have, there is no guarantee of a tragedy-free life.”
Oh how true and personal this is for me. On a deep level, I can feel the emotion as I’ve walked the “Now what?” path through a divorce, health challenges with my daughter, and the many struggles that have come as a result of my healing journey. While I would never wish any of these painful moments on anyone, I have found that there are huge gifts and many blessings that have come as a result of these life changes.
Below you’ll find a few key steps that will support you through whatever life transition you have been through or are currently experiencing. Since none of us are immune to life changes, the steps below can prepare and support you through any difficult transition.
As you read through these steps it’s important to know that life change is not linear or orderly. None of these steps are done in sequential order or only one time; it’s an ongoing process that’s organic and messy so give yourself permission to repeat again and again.
Feel your feelings. Emotions are real and we have a wide range that we experience as human beings. There are those from the light side (joy, love, gratitude) and those on the dark side (fear, anger, sorrow). Allow yourself to experience all of what you feel because is essential to the healing process, which will give you answers to “Now what?”
Actively engage with the process. When you are going through life change, movement happens in two ways. One is horizontal as you go “deep” to learn, grow and heal. The other is vertical as you integrate what you’ve learned to move forward. Both are needed and essential to answering the “Now what?” question.
Get Support. You cannot go the path alone. Find your core inner circle who can love you through it and give you guidance. But don’t place the burden solely on your friends or family. There are counselors, coaches and organizations that can give you the added support and clarity you need as you redefine who you are and where you’re headed. One organization that I’ve partnered as network provider is the Springboard Group which helps you find the opportunities through life’s transitions.
I’d love for you to share your stories. What have you done from the tips above and how has it helped you? Post your comments below.
