Archive for Impact
As a coach, I have learned what it takes to find joy, create ease and achieve prosperity. I’ve personally taken these three steps and seen the positive impact in my life as well as the clients I serve.
It’s this simple:
- Gain clarity of purpose and vision and keep it in front of you,
- Have the right support behind you (and beside you, above you, and in front of you) and,
- Take focused and inspired action consistently!
You might be asking yourself “how” do I start? It begins with saying “yes” to investing in yourself as you walk the path of change. For this type of transformational journey, partnering with a coach is imperative if you’re really serious about creating amazing results that are lasting and sustainable. This was confirmed for me yesterday when one of my clients shared, “I matter” and “I am worth the investment.” This is the place where you learn to believe in yourself and have the ability to accomplish what’s necessary for steps 1-2-3.
Too often I see people “stop” when it gets difficult. You’ve probably found yourself here as well as you begin to doubt and question; before you know it you find yourself doing the same old thing and expecting different results.
The truth is when it matters you can expect opposition. Don’t take it as a sign to stop but as an opportunity to pause and assess so you know how to proceed based on intention, wisdom and discernment. Partnering with a coach will give you the ability so stay the course. In my opinion, coaching is the “circle of life” as it relates to achieving extraordinary results by following the 1-2-3 steps.
Are you taking action on steps 1-3 above? If not, start today because you matter and the world needs what you have to offer.
So, what’s your next step? What will you commit to to achieve amazing results starting now? Post your comments at the blog and share 1. what you’ll commit to and/or 2. how working with a coach has helped you achieve amazing results in your life!
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”–Ayn Rand
You’ve probably heard the phrase “stop shoulding on yourself.” Intellectually you get that should’s, have to’s and ought to’s just drain your energy and leave you feeling heavy and unfulfilled. Yet regardless of this knowledge you find yourself “shoulding” more often than not.
So what do you do? How do you change the cycle from “should” to “want”?
Let me paint the picture of what’s happening behind the scenes for me. I’ve been in an intense transition season, on a mission to reclaim my “want to’s” as I eliminate the “should’s” in my life. It’s literally impacting every facet of my life, including my work, my relationships with myself and others, and even basic things like how I schedule my time. As I go through this process, I’m amazed at what I’m learning.
I have allowed “should’s” to drive my life…often! Mostly because I didn’t realize that many behaviors and beliefs that drive me aren’t core to who I really am. Through my discovery , I’ve tapped into what’s true for me so I have stopped several things cold turkey, like writing my blog. I haven’t written a post in over a month and half because it wasn’t a “want to”. I found I was writing because I thought I “should” based on others’ opinions, expertise and beliefs so I decided to take a break for awhile to get clear for myself.
So what about you? Where do you need to stop the “should’s” in your life?
I invite you to explore the question as you create awareness around where you are run by “should’s”. Without judgment, decide what you need to do with that “should”.
Here’s a system I use called the “Three D” system that will help you choose:
- Dump it. If it’s not necessary or life giving do you really need to keep the should?
- Delegate it. Maybe this is something that you can hire out or you can get help from someone else?
- Defer it. Take a break from it. See what happens and decide when you want to pick it back up or if you even want to. This is what I did with the blog writing.
As for me, I’m not convinced that I’m ready to re-engage in blogging. I know I wanted to begin with this post as I continue to explore what blogging looks like for me. I am committed to staying connected to community in a way that is life giving and allows me to use my wisdom and inspiration creatively. I want to support a win-win and I’m not quite sure what that looks like, yet.
The key here is to focus not on “should’s” but on what you really want paying special attention to where you come alive. Choose powerfully to do those things that “light you up”, because this is the place you will be energized, filled up and on purpose as you give to others.
What do you think? Share your thoughts and comments at the blog.
Bottom line: Stop the Should’s! It could be the most life transforming decision you’ll ever make as you free more of authentic self to positively impact the world!
In honor of the upcoming Mother’s Day weekend let’s celebrate inspiring women. Who do you want to thank? I’m sure there are many women who have impacted your life for the good so grab a pen and piece of paper and get ready to make your list of incredible women to acknowledge!
As for me, I have had many inspiring women support, encourage and challenge me as a single Mompreneur for over 9+ years, which has been vital to my personal and professional success. I’ve been richly blessed by their willingness to invest in me by providing inspiration, wisdom and insight as I’ve evolved, changed and become more of my truest self.
In particular, I have worked with three phenomenal women as my life and business coaches and I want to honor them today. Cynthia Loy Darst, Teresia LaRocque and Kim Fulcher all have four important characteristics that have contributed to my success—they walk their talk, act as catalysts for change, live alive and on purpose and call forth greatness in others. These are the criteria I look for in those I choose to work with and I am grateful to each of you amazing women for sharing your brilliance and inspiring me to be all I can be as a Mompreneur.
What about you? What women have acted as coaches in your life? What criteria do you look for? And more importantly how will you thank them?
Someone else I want to celebrate is Laurie Hardie, Radio Host of Coffee with the Coaches who is also my friend, colleague and Compass sister. I met Laurie over a year ago and as a fellow single Mom, I am inspired by her life and story that will be published in her upcoming guide for single Mom’s called Did Not See that Coming.
This resource will offer hope and inspiration to single Mom’s and I had the joy of supporting her community with a recent interview. Be sure to listen to the many stories of thriving in spite of life’s challenges as you learn more about Laurie’s book which will help all women committed to overcoming challenges.
I want to honor my own Mom who has been a steadfast anchor of peace and strength in my life. She is a woman devoted to bringing her full self to our family, with a servant’s heart and wisdom that has guided me with grace and love. Thank you Mom for the woman you are and the legacy you are creating.
Today, I also celebrate you! Thank you for using your leadership influence for the good and for impacting others with your unique greatness. Take a moment to receive these truths as you acknowledge your role in changing the world, one woman at a time.
“Possessing information about yourself is not the same as truly knowing yourself. Self transformation is always preceded by self-acceptance. And the self you must accept is the self you actually and truly are–before you start your self-improvement projects.”
David G. Benner, Author of The Gift of Being Yourself
Your success in the world is contingent upon knowing who you are. It is critical to achieving your goals and having the impact you desire. Building your self-esteem by discovering and knowing yourself allows you to be more confident, open and comfortable with who you really are and this self-knowing leads to self-acceptance allowing you to give more to your families and the world.
So how do you come to know all of who you are?
I recently found an assessment tool that you can use to gain feedback from others about your personal brand identity. It’s a powerful tool called the 360 Degree Reach which you can use free for 15-days.
I imagine you’re wondering if you really want to have others feedback about you. Yes, it’s extremely vulnerable to ask others for input. If you come from the perspective that not everyone is out to get you and in fact they may have good feedback to give you, it can help give you the courage to take this next step.
Someone once said, “Success is when those who know you the best are those who love you the most.”
Years ago a self-assessment toll was developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram called the Johari Window. The Johari Window helps you realize where you are in your ability to know who you are and for others to know who you are. Real transparency in communication takes place when those we associate with us know who we are after we discover who we really are. See if you can identify what category you might fall among these four:
Transparent Life: The transparent life is the life we should desire. I know who I am and others know me. There is nothing hidden. I have come to know who I am as an individual and basically people get what they see in me.
Bull-In-The-China Shop: This person is blinded to the things that others recognize about him. The solution to becoming a transparent person is to get feedback from those around us about our blind spots in our personality. We must ask for the feedback and be willing to respond to their input.
Aloof/Hidden Secrets: This person lives in a secret world. They don’t allow others to know about themselves. They know themselves but are fearful of letting others know. Those around them do not know them either. What do others really about you? Have you allowed yourself to get close enough to others to share who you really are inside?
Hidden Potential: This is a combination of Bull-In-A-China Shop and Aloof/Hidden Secrets. It is the saddest of all conditions. These people don’t know themselves and others don’t know them either. This means both parties have to invest the energy to communicate and get feedback from one another.
How about you? Why not take a step to find out who you really are in the lives of others. It could change your life.
Just yesterday I posted to my Facebook wall about the importance of “taking care of you”. Because of the thoughtful responses and “likes”, I realized that this was a “hot topic” that we all need to be reminded of. It really boils down to this…it’s essential to accept oneself completely.This is the place of self-mastery where you will find true fulfillment and make a significant contribution to the lives of others.
Since it’s a recurring sentiment among all women and I’m working on the website for The Leadership Collaborative this week, I decided to leverage my community and have collaborated with Nacie Carson for this week’s blog post. Enjoy and please, do something good for yourself today!
“The most terrifying thing is accepting oneself completely.” – Carl Jung
Thanks to St. Valentine (and Hallmark), February is a month full of love, romance, big red hearts, and overly-priced chocolate. But for me, February is going to be as much about building out the relationship with myself as it is going to be about writing sonnets to my Charles (though I do plan to get a few of those in!).
Why? Because like all relationships, the one we have with ourselves requires constant work and attention.
How many of you have had a friendship or romantic relationship that somehow got to a dull, unconnected place? You know the feeling, like you suddenly have nothing in common with the person anymore or you don’t really know them. Often, we’ll blame it on them – “they’ve changed, they’re different now, they’re going through a phase.” But what we fail to understand is that while those things might be true, they are true for our side of the table as well. We are constantly evolving, just like everyone around us, although these change tend to happen in small, minute increments making them difficult to realize.
Have you ever gotten to this place with yourself? Where you felt disconnected from your core, or lacking enthusiasm and energy, or just a little Lost? Chances are, you’re at that place because that relationship with yourself hasn’t grown as you’ve changed.
I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t given my relationship with myself the work or attention it needs to keep me confident, self-assured, or feeling an appropriate appreciation for my potential or personal power. Instead of being aware and honoring the changes I’ve made over the last five years, I feel like I’ve been hyper-critical and always focusing on the faults. In my quest to Live Uncommonly I tore a lot of my core down to get to the bottom of what drove my need to quit the Corporate world, but instead of rebuilding I’ve just dug deeper and deeper in a quest to know myself completely. And while I feel like I know much more about who I am, why I’m motivated to do some things instead of others, and how I operate, I feel like the relationship I have with myself is worse than it was five years ago. Ironically, I look at the person in the mirror and catalogue faults, and then wonder what happened to that super-sparkly person I used to be.
I am still that person. I am still Nacie Carson, and my mission for this month is to take a page from Carl Jung and focus my energies on “accepting myself completely.”
Reprinted with permission by Nacie Carson, writer and founder of The Life Uncommon.
So what about you? Where are you in accepting yourself completely? Take a step today to get to know you and let us know what you learn about your brilliant and beautiful self!