Archive for Emotional Health
Eight Steps Forward, Five Steps Back
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Life is a developmental process as you stretch and grow. You see this in your kids no doubt as they grow physically, emotionally and spiritually. Somewhere along the way though, you might have let go of the notion that you are continuing to develop as an adult because physically you’ve stopped growing. You have a set shoe size and have reached your height that you will be for the rest of your life so your done growing, right?
But what about your emotional and spiritual growth?
See if this sounds familiar as you think about your business (or life if you prefer to look here). You have a new direction that you wish to pursue so you develop a plan of action. You start moving forward and all of a sudden you hit resistance. You get sick, your car breaks down or some how “life” gets in the way. You feel discouraged and frustrated.
But wait! Step back and take a look at what’s really happening. Eight steps forward, five steps back. You get healthy again. Three steps forward, two steps back. Your car is fixed. Now do the math: 8-5+3-2=4. Notice the net positive gain! It is forward progress even in the midst of your set-backs!
So don’t give up! You are making headway and you’re growing, changing and evolving at the same time so keep your eye on your vision!
Go ahead right now. Take a moment and think about this idea in your own life.
- Where have you made forward steps?
- Where have you moved backwards?
- What’s your net number if you turned each of these “steps” of movement forward and backward into a math equation?
It really doesn’t matter whether you have a net gain or loss. The key is to celebrate every step ahead as you acknowledge your frustration for steps backward. Let that frustration fuel you to persevere as you keep your ultimate vision in front of you. Then decide what your one next step is that will move you toward your vision and take it!
I’m curious what you’re learning as you go through this exercise? I invite you to share your comments at www.shannonbruce.com. Perhaps writing your comments here is your one next step forward to your vision. If you don’t know your vision, contact me for a complimentary 15-minute informational call or watch this TED Video on what it means to discover your “why”.
Remember the journey of a 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Even you though you may go backwards and there are detours along the way, you can experience the richness of life and joy as you embrace what comes. And one key to “moving” is that sometimes you need to “deepen your learning” before you can “forward the action”. It’s all a part of the developmental process leading you to your destiny!
Photo Courtesy of Photoxpress ©Alfonso d’Agostino
Shift is in the Air
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Do you feel it too?
Just as the leaves on the trees change color every fall, life goes through shifts. Some of these are subtle and expected, like my daughter turning “10” last week. Some are unexpected like the loss of a job that my client’s husband recently experienced.
I invite you to think of a shift that’s happening in your life. Imagine you can step back from the shift so you can observe it from an outsider’s perspective. As you look at it, you will notice three things. You’ll see an ending, an in between middle place, and a new beginning on the other side. As you acknowledge these three phases it’s easier to embrace the shift and see that your life is going through a transformational process. Life is no longer the way it has been and it’s not yet fully how it will be.
I call this “in between” phase the “transition place” which can feel very uncomfortable and a bit disorienting. If you’re in this place you know what I mean. The picture is unclear, life seems fuzzy and perhaps foggy, and you don’t know quite how to “be”.
For some in the transition place, you might feel overwhelmed and shut down. For others, you might want to step in and take charge to make something happen. Both are normal yet can delay the new beginning unless you acknowledge that you are experiencing the transition which comes with life’s shifts.
If you find yourself in a shift of transition, here are some tips to consider:
- Allow yourself to fully experience what is ending. You may need to give yourself permission to grieve. I also recommend you honor and celebrate the joy of what happened before the ending. Who have you become? How have you grown? What’s to be celebrated?
- Practice extreme self-care and nurture your spirit. You need to get your rest, spend quiet time to reflect and meditate as you give yourself permission to “be” rather than “do”.
- Budget your time, energy and money. Get clear on what’s needed for you to thrive personally and in your work. What’s necessary emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially? Schedule your activities in your calendar, including your reflection time. Notice what drains your energy and eliminate these activities for now. Identify what expenditures you need to add and what you need to eliminate, at least for the time being. Bottom line: Be intentional with how you use your time, energy and money so you can create ease through the transition to the new beginning.
Something else to consider is how you view the shift. Do you see it as something awful or as a new opportunity? The way you look at the transition will make a huge difference in what you experience inside and around you.
I am personally going through major shifts at the moment which I’ve eluded to in past blog posts. My life and work are going through a significant overhaul so I can speak from experience that the tips above have helped to make the ending more positive, the transition place less chaotic and the new beginning more exciting.
What do you think? Will these tips help you go through your transition times with ease and grace? Post your comments at the blog and let our community know; I’d love to hear from you!
If you’d like to learn more about the changes happening , I invite you to sign up for my monthly newsletter which is also going through a transition. In this “in between” place there are exciting new coaching, mentoring and training programs that will benefit you and your teams and organizations.
In the meantime, let the wisdom of Albert Einstein guide you through your transition times: “There are only two ways to live your life. One as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is.”
Here’s to your miracles happening in the shifts!
Calgon Take Me Away–Permission to Pause
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Remember that commercial years ago where a woman is overwhelmed and frustrated by the many demands for her attention? She finally took a stand and declared “Calgon, take me away!” This woman was really onto something that I think bears repeating. Her declaration points to the truth that we all need to step away from the chaos and demands of life to slow down, pause, breathe, check in and reassess.
So what about you? Could you use a “Calgon” break? Permission granted…Go for it! Maybe it’s not a bubble bath, but it could certainly be a ten-minute break to breathe or go for a quick walk. Or how about sitting down to eat your lunch at the table rather than “on the go” or standing up?! 
At some point, you will get caught up in the “doing” and “serving” others through your business and your life that you barely have time to think, let alone feel. Some of you might press in and push through, while others shut down and just stop all together. In either scenario, you’ll reach the point where you are ineffective and unproductive forcing you to reevaluate.
So what’s the answer?
The answer is this: give yourself permission to pause. Take a quick assessment right now and contemplate the following questions.
- What are you currently experiencing internally? Are you at rest inside? Or are you feeling chaos within? Name what you notice.
Once you tune in to what’s happening in your internal world, take a look at what’s going on externally by answering these questions.
- What’s working?
- What’s not?
- What really matters?
- What changes are needed?
Your answers to these questions will reveal some powerful truths. However, you’re just scratching the surface at this point.
There are actually deeper truths that need to be accessed. This internal wisdom will actually help you on the front-end to be proactive in your life and business rather than reacting to the shut-down or burn-out that comes after you hit the proverbial wall.
When you give yourself permission to glean this inner wisdom, you’ll discover your true identity and life mission which reveals your purpose. With this information, you have filters for your choices and you can design a path to the life you’re intended to live. This keeps you anchored in peace while achieving greater impact and tangible results with less effort in both your life and your business.
There’s actually a coaching journey that can help you tap into these deeper truths. It’s called The Destiny Project and this week it went virtual under one website location with it’s own unique brand, identity, mission and purpose. What’s really cool about this journey is that it provides enough structure to keep you moving forward, blended with enough process that takes you deeper into the learning of who you truly are at the core.
Many say they don’t have enough time to dream because there’s too much to do. How about you? What do you think?
What if the question isn’t how can you afford to dream, but rather the question was how can you afford not to? I invite you to contemplate this in your “Calgon” moment as you exercise your permission to pause.
Post your comments at www.shannonbruce.com; I’d love to read your thoughts and be sure to check out the new website because it’s pretty amazing! Thanks Michael Warden and Josh Tilton.
Photo Provided by www.photoxpress.com, Copyright Julia Britvich
Practicing the Art of “Being”
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I’ve spent the majority of my life “doing” rather than “being”. After all, there are places to go, people to see, and things to do, right?
This approach to life fell short for me over ten years ago when I made the bold and courageous decision to leave behind the security of my steady paycheck. I quit my “Corporate” job to pursue my entrepreneurial dream because I was exhausted and burnt out from all of my “doing” for the sake of what?!
Little did I know that I would find myself going through life transition upon life transition, starting with my divorce and the subsequent hurdles of my daughter’s health struggles.
Because of these changes, I was challenged to find answers to the questions of “Who am I?” and “What’s next?”
I could write a book on the topic and some day I just might! In the meantime, the key learning is that I am a “human being”, not a “human doing”. Out of this paradigm shift, I have reaped the benefits of living a heart centered life and I am committed to supporting women like you to do the same.
For those of you who are “do-ers” (which is 99.9% of the women out there), here are some practical next steps that will help you “to be”.
- Slow down and breathe fully. Repeat multiple times during the day!
- Go for a walk in silence. A little bit of exercise, a chance to be and not just “sitting still”.
- Get up early in the morning before everyone else wakes up. Drink your coffee in silence and breathe some more.
- Stop talking and listen. Pay attention to others and to your inner voices, your body, etc.
- Read my blog article “On the Verge of a Break Through” for more insight.
Learning to “be” is essential if you want to find inner peace, joy and greater purpose. It’s a huge shift from the crazy-making world we live, yet so worth the perseverance and commitment to find it.
So what else would you add to this list? Share your comments at Facebook and the Blog…And then, breathe and “just be”!
Going on an Information Diet
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OK, let’s get real. Are you overwhelmed by too much information? It’s a blessing to have readily accessible information at your fingertips 24-7. However, the curse is that there’s an overwhelming abundance of “too much”. So much so that I’m inviting you put yourself on an information diet!
Let me set the stage as to why I think this is important. Last week I had a conversation with a colleague about the impact of being plugged in to so much information. We both agreed that having access to the collective wisdom and brilliance of so many people provides not only inspiration and practical tips, but also calls forth new directions, opportunities and possibilities.
Just like a coin however, there is a flip side. We’ve both found that too much information can become distracting, overwhelming and worst case, it can cause you to question your value, abilities and direction.
If you’re like me, you might often find yourself reacting to what shows up in your in-box feeling obligated to read all of the newsletters, blogs, daily devotions, tips, and inspiration that you’ve signed up for. The challenge is that it can become all consuming to the point you end up working more than you’d like, once again compromising what really matters. Not to mention it can totally diminish your self-worth and esteem.
If any of this resonates for you, my suggestion is that you go on an information diet. Just like you cut back on your food intake to focus on becoming physically healthy, an information diet is about reducing the volume of content you read so you become emotionally healthy and can thrive in your life and work.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting you eliminate everything. I am encouraging you to become tuned in and aware so you can decide what content to decrease as you guard your heart.
Here are some questions to ponder and some potential next steps:
- Does this information add value to your life or work or is it a distraction? If it’s a distraction, consider opting out.
- Are you energized and inspired by the information or do you feel drained or defeated? If you are drained and defeated, it might be time to opt out.
- Do you read the information or do you just delete it? If you’re deleting it you aren’t reading it anyway so clear out the volume of e-mails by opting out.
- Is it all good and yet there’s just too much? Rate what you receive on a scale of good, better and best and opt-out of the good so you have time for the better and best.
Clearing and purging information that is no longer life giving or relevant to where you are in your life and work will have massive benefit to you. It will free you up emotionally because you will have more energy available to focus on what’s truly important. It will also help to eliminate the self-sabotage and allow you to focus on who you really are, not what you think you ought to be.
So what do you think? Share your comments at the blog and share it with your friends, family and colleagues.
Here’s to living freely and lightly!
