It takes two to create a healthy relationship that works! Both parties need to share responsibility which in coaching terms is called “co-responsibility”. While the idea of sharing in relationships isn’t new, the “how to’s” of creating co-responsibility might be fresh insight that supports a positive shift in your relationships.
So what is “co-responsibility”? According to the Center for Right Relationship, sharing responsibility is taking a look at what you can be counted on as a partner in the relationship. Each person has a part in creating the experience you both want.
This approach might be different than what you are currently doing. What I see in my work with leaders and teams is that most team members feel they have no power or choice in relationship. Trust begins to dwindle and fingers are pointed blaming the other person.
To positively shift the dynamics in your relationships, here are some useful questions that will support you in developing co-responsibility:
- What can you count on/rely on from each other?
- What will you commit to for one another?
- What would help your partnership/team to flourish?
- How do you want to behave when things get difficult?
I invite you to ponder these questions as you contemplate the relationships you want to improve. These questions are a first step to developing yourself as a leader as you bring more of your authenticity in service to developing healthy relationships.
So what’s your next step? Share your wins and challenges at the blog so we learn from one another and bring about greater harmony in relationships as partners and teams.
“We are created, not for isolation, but for relationships. At heart, we are not a thousand points of separated light but, rather, part of a larger brightness. Within partnerships, teams and organizations, caring and committed relationships are not a luxury. They are a necessity.”
D. Johnson and F. Johnson
As a coach, I have learned what it takes to find joy, create ease and achieve prosperity. I’ve personally taken these three steps and seen the positive impact in my life as well as the clients I serve.
It’s this simple:
- Gain clarity of purpose and vision and keep it in front of you,
- Have the right support behind you (and beside you, above you, and in front of you) and,
- Take focused and inspired action consistently!
You might be asking yourself “how” do I start? It begins with saying “yes” to investing in yourself as you walk the path of change. For this type of transformational journey, partnering with a coach is imperative if you’re really serious about creating amazing results that are lasting and sustainable. This was confirmed for me yesterday when one of my clients shared, “I matter” and “I am worth the investment.” This is the place where you learn to believe in yourself and have the ability to accomplish what’s necessary for steps 1-2-3.
Too often I see people “stop” when it gets difficult. You’ve probably found yourself here as well as you begin to doubt and question; before you know it you find yourself doing the same old thing and expecting different results.
The truth is when it matters you can expect opposition. Don’t take it as a sign to stop but as an opportunity to pause and assess so you know how to proceed based on intention, wisdom and discernment. Partnering with a coach will give you the ability so stay the course. In my opinion, coaching is the “circle of life” as it relates to achieving extraordinary results by following the 1-2-3 steps.
Are you taking action on steps 1-3 above? If not, start today because you matter and the world needs what you have to offer.
So, what’s your next step? What will you commit to to achieve amazing results starting now? Post your comments at the blog and share 1. what you’ll commit to and/or 2. how working with a coach has helped you achieve amazing results in your life!
“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.”–Ayn Rand
As part of your year end celebrations, I strongly encourage you to set intentional time aside to reflect and acknowledge 2011. This check-in process is essential as it will allow you to really embrace your accomplishments as you dream for the year ahead. It also allows you to step back and access the wisdom for the sake of doing things differently in the year to come.
I would also like to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your journey this year. In 2012, you will see many changes to my work with the launch of a new business. My goal is to support you in making sustainable and positive changes that increase your productivity and profitability so you can have greater impact and influence. Stay tuned for the details to come and in the meantime, take the next step to open the door to your 2012 vision!
To your success and joy!
“Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.”
If you were to rate yourself on the level of joy you consistently experience, what number would you give yourself on a scale of 1-10? “1″ means no consistency and rarely finding joy, and “10″ means each and every day, I find joy in my life. Where do you find yourself today in relationship to joy?
In my work over the years as a professional coach, many people find joy based on what they are doing so it’s often an inconsistent and/or a fleeting experience. Why? Because our external circumstances are always changing and with this unpredictability it can be difficult to sustain joy.
But I want you to experience”joy” as your “inner” experience no matter what you are doing or what’s happening around you! You might be wondering, “Is that possible?” I say “Absolutely!” as long as you put attention and intention toward being “joy filled”.
I really appreciate what Becky Mason, Director of Marketing at Compass has to say about “joy”:
“Choose joy today. Right now, make a choice to receive joy and let it flow through you – not based on what’s going on around you, but based on the fact that you are loved and that you have a purpose that is bigger than yourself. We have no control over many of the things that happen to us, but we do have control over how we respond and how we think about those situations. You might think there is no way you can respond positively or joyfully to a particular circumstance. I am here to tell you that you can choose to allow joy to flow through you. We have control over one thing: our attitude. Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we respond.
A good friend of ours was diagnosed with cancer one year ago. After lots of chemo, radiation, surgery, pain and suffering, he received a clean bill of health. He said one thing recently that really stuck with me. He said, ‘I will not allow cancer to define me.’ His response to a circumstance he could not control was to choose joy. To find the joy in the situation. Our circumstances can be pretty ugly, but do you allow them to define you – or will you choose to rewrite your definition? Will you choose to respond with joy?”
After reading this, what will you choose?
If you need a little encouragement or some next steps, I have two immediate solutions for you that will cost you nothing but a little bit of your time:
- Listen to the first three days of the Compass MAP on the topic of “Find your Joy”. Visit my Compass website and click on the picture box that says “Find your Joy”. It takes you to the page of the MAP where you can access the first three days of audio recording (these are the ones in blue).
- Join me for a FREE Compass Group Coaching Call this Thursday, 12/15/11. I will facilitate the Compass Action System using the theme of “Celebrate Life”. For more information visit the event page at Facebook.
I know this is a busy time of year so you might decide you don’t have the time. But if not now, when?
It’s counter intuitive but it’s true that if you make the time to find your joy, you will experience it more often and consistently. So make the time…you’re worth it!
Yes, you read the the question correctly….I just asked, “Are you crazy?” Perhaps you’re not quite sure so read on as I know your answer is forthcoming after you watch the video connected with this post. It’s a video that Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple made years ago. I invite you to watch it…it’s only a minute long and could change your life.
So let me ask you again. Are you crazy? I hope so.
I want to be crazy and I want you to be too! I want you to know who you are with such crystal clear clarity that you remain steadfast in the pursuit of your calling like these other incredible men and women with the names of Einstein, Martin Luther King and Amelia Earhardt.
You have it in you, just like Steve Jobs did. It’s hardwired into your DNA and your job here on earth is to discover it for the sake of giving it back for the benefit of the world. It’s your legacy that you leave behind as you invest in the lives of others. And even though you may not be as “famous” as some of the people in the video, you will be “famous” with those who you touch with your unique gift.
Now take a moment to contemplate your answer to the question, “Are you crazy?” If not, do you want to be? The choice is yours…what will you decide?
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
[Quote from Steve Jobs - Stanford commencement speech, June 2005].