Life Changes and Now What?

You’re cruising along and within an instant your life changes.  Who you were yesterday is no longer who you are today because of a life transforming moment. Perhaps it’s an accident, a loss, a health issue or something else that has redefined your life. Whatever the situation, you are faced with the very large question of “Now what?”

What do you do as you find yourself overwhelmed by a broad spectrum of emotion ranging anywhere from relief, anger, grief, sadness, fear, overwhelm, and more? How do you move forward to earn a living, take care of your family, and get on with life, in spite of the transition you’ve just been through?

It’s no coincidence that I am writing about this topic after a week filled with transforming moments. Arnold’s Furniture, a well loved and respected local business in town for the past 58 years lost their entire building to a major fire on Monday. A colleague and client was involved in  a tragic motorcycle accident that has left her in ICU fighting for her life and her health. A young man from the youth group at my church died unexpectedly at 19 years of age. And just last night, the Dr. Phil show “I Survived” was all about “life changes that happen within the blink of an eye”.

As Dr. Phil’s website says so profoundly, “It doesn’t matter how much money or success you have, there is no guarantee of a tragedy-free life.”

Oh how true and personal this is for me. On a deep level, I can feel the emotion as I’ve walked the “Now what?” path through a divorce, health challenges with my daughter, and the many struggles that have come as a result of my healing journey. While I would never wish any of these painful moments on anyone, I have found that there are huge gifts and many blessings that have come as a result of these life changes.

Below you’ll find a few key steps that will support you through whatever life transition you have been through or are currently experiencing. Since none of us are immune to life changes, the steps below can prepare and support you through any difficult transition.

As you read through these steps it’s important to know that life change is not linear or orderly. None of these steps are done in sequential order or only one time; it’s an ongoing process that’s organic and messy so give yourself permission to repeat again and again.

Feel your feelings. Emotions are real and we have a wide range that we experience as human beings. There are those from the light side (joy, love, gratitude) and those on the dark side (fear, anger, sorrow). Allow yourself to experience all of what you feel because is essential to the healing process, which will give you answers to “Now what?”

Actively engage with the process. When you are going through life change, movement happens in two ways. One is horizontal as you go “deep” to learn, grow and heal. The other is vertical as you integrate what you’ve learned to move forward. Both are needed and essential to answering the “Now what?” question.

Get Support. You cannot go the path alone. Find your core inner circle who can love you through it and give you guidance. But don’t place the burden solely on your friends or family. There are counselors, coaches and  organizations that can give you the added support and clarity you need as you redefine who you are and where you’re headed. One organization that I’ve partnered as network provider is the Springboard Group which helps you find the opportunities through life’s transitions.

I’d love for you to share your stories. What have you done from the tips above and how has it helped you? Post your comments below.